askmissbernadette:

stabla:

i went to my great aunts funeral today, which was interesting and sad because i found out so much about her. 

• she got the first face lift ever in new zealand
• she had a “glass act” (pictured above) where she would wash her face and body in broken glass and not get slightly scratched. when members of the audience tried, they were grievously injured.
• she once hypnotized 500 people for fun and then asked them to go and stand on a highway, so that cars couldn’t pass. she got in a lot of trouble because the crowd got so large that there was a national traffic crisis.
• her act included hypnotizing people into walking to work in their underwear, with their consent of course, and one of the men who had actually done it came to the funeral.

at her funeral all these people who had been in her act showed up and talked about how great she was, how she was gifted and crazy and i suppose i’m sad and happy about it.

DUDE SHE SOUNDS AWESOME